By Namrata India is the largest democracy of the world claiming to have diversity in religion. However, caste and religion are the very factors that play a huge role in the romantic lives of people living here. Take the case of 28-year-old Samika* from Mumbai. In an interview with her, she narrates her experiences: "Growing up in a co-ed school, we never learnt the difference between religion and caste. Today, however, suddenly all of my friends are labeled. The Christian girl, that Bengali boy... My friends seem to have been transformed overnight. You can feel religious sensitivity in almost every conversation. The worst case was when I began dating Shoaib, a Muslim man. We were still getting to know each other when I shared my joy with two of my close friends. Their reaction scared me. While one took me back to history telling how Muslims had ruthlessly killed people during Partition, the other told me a story about a girl who had also engaged in a relationship with another Muslim and was now living a life of repentance in Burkha with two other wives of her own husband--a story which turned out to be false. They said all of this without even bothering to know anything about Shoaib except for his name, which in turn displayed his religion. Despite constant warnings from their end, I still continued seeing him. I was eventually excluded from the group. Because of my relationship with Shoaib, no one answered my calls, let alone check on me for the sake of a five-year friendship. It took me a while to accept this behavior. To date, I am wary of making new friends. " Her friends claim to be her well-wishers, fearing she might be a victim of Love Jihad. But wasn't it important to show their concern in a way that it reached Samika? Their silence does the talking thereafter. Love Jihad is an alleged activity wherein Muslim youth utilize such emotional appeals, using charm to entice girls into conversion by feigning love. Some reports even note that this practice is often an organized, funded behavior. It is a term coined in India for the practice of forming romantic relationships with a person from another religion, only with the intention of converting them. Such case was misconstrued to have happened in the case of Hadiya from Kerala. The two, who were of legal age at the time, decided to get married. After being accused of committing Love Jihad, they had to prove to the court and the world that their love is genuine. For a country like India that claims to be the next super-power, it is shocking to note how couples are even made the victims of honour killing. In 2016, an article in Huffington Post reported a meteoric rise (by almost 796%) in the number of honour killing cases. The heart wrenching case of Ankit Saxena is the latest in the number. Ankit, a Delhi-based photographer, was in love with his neighbour Shehzadi, whom he developed a romantic affair with. Shehzadi’s parents objected to it, leaving them to decide to elope. Unfortunately, even before they could, Ankit was killed in broad daylight just outside his home. His throat was slit right before his mother's eyes and he laid on the pavements bleeding to death before he was rushed to a hospital. There were eyewitnesses of the crime, and it was all captured on CCTV camera. The conspirators have also been caught. Still, the question that continues to haunt his parents is why anyone didn't try to stop them. If you thought that this was solely an issue of caste and religion, then you are mistaken. Even gender identity is criticized, putting the LGBT+ community in great peril. Dhruv Thakker* is a 30-year-old advertising professional from Bengaluru. Dhruv has been battling clinical depression for the last five years and has survived three suicide attempts. The reason behind it, told in his own words: "I realized I was gay during my high school. It took a lot of courage for me to come out to my family and friends. For the most part, I feared how my family would react. I thought my friends would stand by me, come what may, accept me for my sexuality with no question. What happened was that they were the ones who disowned me. If they only settled with isolating me, maybe I would have understood. Instead, they bullied me, online and offline. Created fake profiles and posted nasty things about me. They took me to the red light area, in a bid to cure me out of my sexual orientation. When I refused to cooperate, they put up my number in some public toilet. All in the name of being a homosexual. Sometimes I feel being born is a crime because I know for sure I was born this way. I didn't choose to be like this." What price do we have to pay to be accepted for all that we are? Love has always been misunderstood, said early philosophers, but is this the kind of misunderstanding that they meant? (*names have been changed to protect identities)
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